Monday, October 12, 2026

The Woman Who Held the Keys Chapter 11 from Necromancers Don't Read Toe Tags

 

The Woman Who Held the Keys

Chapter 11 from Necromancers Don't Read Toe Tags
By Thomas L. Vaultonburg

The morning after Mercy lost his shelter, The Collective opened at ten. Someone swept the floor. Someone posted photographs of the previous evening with the difficult part cropped out. By noon, there was a new event on the calendar. Mort stood across the street and watched a woman unlock the front door. Apparently he had broken less than he thought.

Kitten Killswitch of Necromancers Don't Read Toe Tags

Kitten Killswitch of The Collective

Rookford had been built around a river and a succession of promises about work. The work went away. The buildings remained. People put art in some of them, which was better than leaving them empty, and then began confusing ownership of a room with ownership of what happened inside it. The Collective occupied a narrow building between a shuttered appliance shop and an insurance office. There was nothing remarkable about its door. Mort had learned to distrust that.

The woman unlocking it wore a ring of keys clipped to her belt. Kitten Killswitch. Co-founder. The name had survived the band, the stage clothes, and several explanations of who she used to be. In Chicago she had played a rack of machines in Toxic Absolution, an industrial band whose records sounded like an elevator refusing to reach the ground floor. She could make a room move. Later she learned how to decide who got into it.

Juniper Michaels had met her when she fled Chicago. The first lease carried both names. Juniper supplied the public introductions and drafted the language about community benefit. Kitten supplied the names that would fill the calendar. Now Kitten called herself the surviving founder, a description that made Juniper’s absence sound like an argument in her favor.

Mort knew none of this until a woman named Ada arrived carrying a grocery bag. She had asked to meet outside. She checked the door before she checked his face. He stepped away from the window so she could stand without being watched from inside.

“I don't want to be in your file,” she said.

“Then you won't be.”

“I want this in it.” She took a notebook out of the bag. The cover had been repaired with packing tape. Between its pages were messages, payment receipts, and a photocopied agreement with her signature at the bottom. “She said I could learn the equipment. I was twenty-two. I wanted to make things.”

He waited. Ada looked toward the door again. Kitten was inside now, moving chairs. “There was a room upstairs at the rehearsal space. I needed somewhere to stay. They needed somebody to answer messages, load the van, sell shirts, clean up. It was supposed to be temporary. Then every favor became something I owed them.”

Ada had come to Chicago after leaving a house where sleep meant keeping one ear open. She had been in treatment. She had been sober, then not sober, then trying again. None of that diminished her ability to know when she was being cornered. It had diminished the number of people willing to believe her. Kitten understood the difference and used it.

“When I asked about getting paid, she said I was forgetting what they'd done for me. When I wanted to leave, she said nobody else would put up with me.” Ada opened the notebook to a message written in capitals. DON'T MAKE THIS A SAFETY ISSUE JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE UNHAPPY. “I kept thinking if I explained it better, she'd hear me.”

Mort read without taking the notebook from her hands. Kitten had offered housing, introductions, lessons. She had made each one dependent on the next favor. When Ada resisted, her history became the explanation. Unstable. Ungrateful. In recovery, but difficult. The work Ada had done remained reliable enough to use. Only her account of it was unreliable.

“Did you get out?” he asked.

“A woman came back for her amplifier. She saw my bags packed. She offered me a ride without asking Kitten.” Ada closed the notebook. “It shouldn't have taken an amplifier.”

“No.”

“She's still doing it here. Different language. Same room.”

Ada let him copy three pages. She kept the originals. When he asked what she wanted, she said she wanted the messages returned by people who still owed her money. She wanted her name taken off a testimonial. She wanted nobody sent to her to ask whether Kitten was really such a bad person. Mort wrote those requests on a separate sheet. They were specific. He liked that. Specificity gave the universe fewer places to hide.

Inside, Kitten was examining a faulty microphone cable. She looked up with the patient smile of someone accustomed to explaining how much effort everything took. “We're closed until the workshop,” she said.

“The door was open.”

“For deliveries.”

Mort set his folder on the table. “I've brought one.”

She looked at the folder, then at him. Recognition arrived without surprise. “You're the man from last night. You understand we can't be responsible for everyone who comes through here.”

He glanced at the keys. “Who decides who comes through?”

“We make decisions together.”

“Who can say no?”

Kitten put the cable down. She had helped found The Collective because Rookford needed a place for work nobody else would show. That much was true. Some people had made their first good paintings here. Some had met friends. Some had found a way through a bad winter. Mort could feel those things in the room. They did not cancel the others. That was the accounting problem she kept trying to solve by addition.

“I've helped more people than you've probably met,” she said.

“You may have.”

“Some of them were in terrible shape.”

“They weren't inventory.”

She leaned back. Behind her hung an old Toxic Absolution flyer. Four silhouettes. A date. Her name in smaller type than the men's. She had once stood outside rooms waiting for somebody to remember she belonged in them. Mort could see why a key might feel like a cure. He could also see how long she had been prescribing it to everyone else.

“People made choices,” she said. “I gave them opportunities.”

He opened the folder. The photocopied agreement lay on top. Names were covered. The terms remained. Housing conditional on availability. Work without a rate. A complaint routed to the person being complained about. Nothing here had required magic. Kitten had made the arrangements herself.

“Could they refuse the work and keep the room?”

“It wasn't a hotel.”

“Could they leave and still collect what they were owed?”

“You're simplifying.”

“I'm asking about the exits.”

She reached for the agreement. Mort kept his hand on it. “Copies,” he said. “The originals belong to the people who signed them.”

For a moment she looked genuinely offended. Then the room shifted. It was a small adjustment, almost clerical. Kitten opened her mouth to say difficult and heard unpaid. She tried grateful and heard afraid of losing the room. The microphone on the table was unplugged. Her voice came through it anyway, stripped of the words she had used to make the conditions sound kind.

Kitten stepped back. “What are you doing?”

“Listening.”

She looked toward the front window. Nobody was there. That frightened her more than a crowd would have. There was no audience to reassure, no interruption to blame, no public emergency in which she could become useful. Only the terms. She picked up her keys, then put them down as if they had grown hot.

“Do you want this place to close?”

“I want a door people can leave through.”

“And who's going to keep it running?”

“That isn't the same question.”

Mort left Ada's three requests on the table. He did not leave the copied pages. Evidence was not a gift to the person who might destroy it. He gave Kitten a way to respond that did not require finding Ada, persuading her, or asking anyone else to persuade her. Kitten stared at the sheet. She had been offered work without applause. For once she seemed unable to recognize it.

Outside, Janelle stood by the insurance office. Mort had not asked her to come. She watched Kitten through the window, watched her pick up the keys again. “You're leaving her there?”

“She's still making choices.”

“So is everyone she lets in.”

He nodded. On the folder he crossed out settled and wrote access still controlled. Then he opened a second account.

Later, Ada took a bus to an ordinary appointment. The notebook stayed in her grocery bag. Mort sent the employment pages to the review she had approved, with her limits written beside the address.

At The Collective, Kitten unplugged the microphone again, although it was already unplugged. She took the flyer off the wall. By evening she had drafted a statement about complexity. Belial stood where the light from the front window ended. He had not taught her this. He was watching her find another way to keep the keys.

Beside the sound board lay an old fundraising brochure. Juniper smiled from its cover. Tessa’s design still carried the foundation credit. The version at the community center had been corrected. This one had not. Kitten told a volunteer they were using up old stock. Correction was wasteful when somebody else bore its cost.

Mort marked the file for a return visit, then took the next dispatch.

The building would open tomorrow. Tomorrow was part of the account.


Monday, August 3, 2026

The Annual Meeting Minutes of the Outsider Poets of Padukah... 2026

 

The Annual Meeting Minutes of the Outsider Poets of Padukah

Attendance was poor.

As usual, everyone claimed to be President.

The Treasurer reported that the treasury remains hypothetical.

The Secretary took no notes because no one could remember who had been elected Secretary.

Old Business:

  • The proposal to define Outsider Poetry was tabled for the fifteenth consecutive year.
  • The motion to relocate Padukah was defeated on the grounds that no one was certain where it currently was.
  • The coffee was declared adequate.

New Business:

One member suggested poetry should become more accessible.

Another suggested it should become less accessible.

A third member wondered if accessibility wasn't simply another form of architecture.

This was entered into the minutes despite no one understanding it.

The annual award for Outstanding Achievement in Remaining Unknown was presented to a poet who could not be located.

The acceptance speech was deeply moving.

Adjournment occurred shortly before everyone wandered off in different directions to look at birds, railroad tracks, and suspiciously interesting clouds.

The date of the next meeting will be announced retroactively.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

In Paducah Where the Tuscaloosa

Watching the Cubs in their first World Series game in 71 years. The umpire seems to have a different strike zone for the Indians pitcher than he does for Lester. If there was any fix in here I would have assumed it would have been in favor of the Cubs, but then again, how are the scumbag degenerate gamblers going to make any money betting on the Cubs?

I'm guessing there a lot of Cub fans in Paducah. Probably a lot of Cardinals fans, a few Reds fans, and maybe some Atlanta Braves fans. The Outsider Poets of Padukah mostly are indifferent to sports. 

I'm sitting here eating quinoa I've left in the pot a little too long and has gotten soggy. My doctor recommended today that I start taking Niacin. I looked it up and I'm slightly worried about the flushing effect and skin irritation, but they say it's not a serious issue and can be mitigated by starting with a lower dosage and building up. 

Feels like Cleveland has this game pretty well in hand now. Schwarber just gave the ball a ride, but this team has been notorious for going stone cold when it gets cold. It's supposed to be unseasonably warm later in the week for the games in Chicago.

I see the guy for Dead Or Alive passed away earlier in the week, and guy who started Crusader Comics. I went looking for a copy of Dungeon of Darkness, but apparently they'll print out thousands of them and send them to you if you promise to hand them out to people ar rock and roll festivals.

We have a new dog and I have less than nothing to say this week. I am entirely out of sync and still have dental work to get through before the end of the year.

This game is turning out to be pretty miserable, like the two shutout games they played against the Dodgers. I think I'll go read some submissions to Zombie Logic Review. 



Friday, October 7, 2016

The Outsider Poets of Padukah Try To Donate Books To Local Library

There was a spot of bother last week when the Outsider Poets of Padukah tried to donate several books to the local library. The problem was they were poetry books, and the library refused to accept them. Then the poets were asked to leave and their library cards and lending privileges were revoked. 

This would have been humiliation enough for the poets, but as wind of the attempted poetry donation leaked out a flash mob had formed outside the library and began pelting the poets with zucchinis as they tried to leave. 

Undeterred, the Outsider Poets of Padukah resolved that they would donate the books to some worthy, and unsuspecting cause or be the worse for trying. Who is it that would be least able to fight off their charity they thought. The sick? The elderly? Children? 

It was decided sick children would be the most receptive audience for the books as they had the least chance of fighting back against poetry. So they went to the children's hospital and stealthily attempted to leave the books in a garbage can in one of the bathrooms, but they were sniffed out by an orderly who has a nose for poetry, and asked to leave the premises (with the books). Similar results were achieved at the old folks home and the local asylum, and by the end of the afternoon news had spread throughout the metropolitan area and the OPP were unwelcome everywhere they went. 

The moral of the story is don't write books. It's a terrible thing to do. Watch more television. Right now I got two screens going. One is on The Human Duplicators, and the other is on Dawn of the Dead. I just ate half a container of salty sunflower seeds, and since this is my final blog of the night I want to give a shout out to this great blog of Outlaw Poetry by Thomas L. Vaultonburg which is an ironical title because the poetry is fake. I always fake the poetry in case anyone is watching. 

I have actually been in Padukah four times, and slept there once, and ate at the Waffle House there once. People love the Waffle House, but they really screwed up our entire order and even made bad toast and eggs. I wasn't very impressed, but I think Paducah is the near south and the real Waffle Houses are probably in the deep south, but someone said eat at the Krystal Burger and we did in Alabama and it felt like they steamed sour, rotten meat. We did get a good peach nearby, though, and the oysters were good. A shark swam through my legs in the Gulf. 





Sunday, October 2, 2016

It Rained Outsider Poetry In Every Town But Padukah

Both of my parents had to work when I was a small child because of Republican economics, and I spent a lot of time with my grandma listening to country music. Rock and roll was not allowed in her house. Even the racier outlaw country was frowned upon, but no one could keep Johnny Cash from being played even if he did say hell and shot on Live From Folsom Prison.

What was allowed was Tom T Hall. Not only allowed, but encouraged, and since he had recorded an album for children I heard it hundreds of time. He became one of my favorite songwriters.

My de facto father-in-law recently gave me a stack of his old LP records with Live From Folsom Prison and a few Tom T Hall records, one which contains the song "It Rained In Every Town But Padukah." Then it rained in Padukah, too.

As I sit here eating pretzels and drinking a Perrier and wait for the family to get home from a late season amusement park visit, I'd kind of like to put that record on right now, but I'm too lazy.

I'm kind of uptight because I have a very close fantasy football match that will be decided tonight and tomorrow. Not sure what happened to the Tampa Bay and Dencer game. I guess it rained there, too.

Are there really only two entries in the Outsider Poets of Padukah blog. I feel certain I had written more, but I can't remember. I've never had a blog deleted, so I have to assume I have only written in this blog three times.

Four now. I need Marcus Peter and Harrison Smith to score ten points on defense, which is less than they have averaged the first three weeks, to win.

I already did cardio and yoga today, and paid the bills for October, so I have the luxury of sitting here in the dark tapping away at this nonsense and watching The Monster Club on You Tube. 

Pretzels and Perrier are a good combination. 


Saturday, September 10, 2016

Fantasy Football Outsider Poetry Draft

The Paducah Plain Speakers outsider poetry slam team recently held their annual fantasy football draft at the Regency Hilton, and there were a few surprises. 

Teddy Roosevalt was once again drafted, for the seventeenth straight season, but hasn't suited up once.

Crystal McCracken drafted an unusual team, with six kickers in the starting lineup. All in all over twenty poets were drafted at the quarterback position. None are starters in the NFL.

The Regency was a wonderful hotel with an all you can eat breakfast of toasts and powdered eggs and grapes and stuff. There was cable in the room and I watched a few re-runs of Mr. Ed om MeTV before bed. I got a little worked up because I was excited about my team, and was happy to get Antonio Brown in the sixth round when no one else seemed to know who he was. Here's my team...

QB Cam Newton
QB Aaron Rodgers
QB Tom Brady
RB David Johnson
RB Lamar Miller
RB Ezekial Elliot
RB laveon Bell
WR Antonio Brown
WR Julio Jones
WR Deandre Hopkins
WR Odell Bechkam Jr.
TE Rob Gronkowski
TE Jordan Reed
K Lyndon Larouche

I feel like a made a mistake overlooking Sylvia Plath and Denise Levertov in the middle rounds, but it's hard to pass up Julio Jones in the 7th round.

I guess we'll find out Sunday how I did. 

I have to go to a garage sale on the block now.